On Exercising Diligence in Parenting

Setting these kinds of restrictions become second nature to most parents – we’d rather set boundaries in place that upset our child than let them do as they please and learn a costly lesson. Nevertheless, it takes sustained effort on our part – it is command upon command, precept upon precept. It is certainly tiring and (until they reach a certain age) almost always thankless. However, teaching our children discipline and obedience is the most important contribution we will make in their lives.

When I think back to my parents, I find it’s the little, everyday things that have made the most impact upon my heart. A few examples of the practices that were expected of us included saying a prayer before meals, memorizing verses from the Bible regularly, intolerance towards lying, making our beds before we left for school, ironing our uniforms, and cleaning hair out of the brush after each time I used it. Shoddy work, repeated forgetfulness, procrastination, or blatant disregard were always followed up with appropriate consequences. This quickly drove home the point that our spiritual training could not be separated from everyday practical disciplines since failure to adhere to either “category” was regarded with the same level of seriousness.

When it came to matters of discipline, my father was uncompromising. I recall many days when, after my brother and I had gone to bed and were hovering on the verge of sleep, my father would come into the room and ask three simple questions: Have you brushed your teeth? Have you been to the bathroom? Have you had a drink of water? If the answer to any of the above questions was “no”, you can bet my father would wake us up and march us to where we had to go to get it done. This was carried out a couple of times and proved to be very effective. We quickly concluded that it simply wasn’t worth disobeying our father if it meant having our sleep disrupted. I am sure my father didn’t enjoy carrying out his nightly wake-up calls but realized it had to be done in order to teach us that he meant what he said and that there would be consequences for disobedience.

Someone once defined character as “doing what is right repeatedly until it becomes a habit”. Since a young child is largely the product of little things that are instilled in him either by observation or by parental instruction, the opportunity to shape godly character is ripe for the picking. In the way that water cuts through rock, not because of its strength but because of its persistence, it’s in diligent instruction that a child is trained in the ways of the Lord.  

If we desire to see our children live unapologetically for the Lord, we must be willing to do the (seemingly) small things to get them there. Matthew 25:23 reads “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!” Therefore, we can take comfort in the fact that though the words we use and the daily disciplines we enforce might be small, they are certainly not insignificant. Make no mistake, it is a long and exacting journey that demands discipline on both sides. It is setting boundaries and practices in place, reminding the children about them, and reinforcing them every single time. 

If we honestly believe that a family’s most important relationship is its relationship with God, we must make it our chief priority to include Christ in the daily lives of our children. If Christ is truly the head of our home, what have we taught our children about the character, preferences, and personality of the unseen member? As Christian parents, what are we practicing every day that is inculcating a lifestyle of faith in our children? Do we truly see the enormity of our day-to-day decisions – that we are saving them not just from a little pain but are shaping their eternal souls?  

I am firmly convinced that the guidance of a godly parent has eternal significance. Paul writes to Timothy, “I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you” (2 Timothy1:5). For now, our hearts will rejoice when we reap the rewards of godly parenting in the individual lives of our children, their families, and in the societies they become a part of.