“Is there some spinach in there? That looks very good!”
I smiled at Giorgia over my chickpea curry as our families, her Italian, and my Indian, sat around the dining table to share dinner. As I served myself a portion of lasagna, Giorgia exclaimed from the other end of the table, “This is delicious. I love the addition of coconut milk!”
As her husband nodded his head in agreement, I squirmed uncomfortably at the compliment screaming inwardly: “Don’t ask me for the recipe! Don’t ask me for the recipe! Please don’t ask me for the recipe!”
I’ve had a problem with sharing my recipes for as far back as I’ve learned how to cook. Trust me when I tell you that it isn’t something that I am proud of. However, I always justified it by telling myself something along the lines of “I’m not obliged to share family recipes with someone outside my family” or “I worked hard to perfect this recipe and I’m not just going to give it someone else” or “I won’t have anything special to serve anyone coming home if they all knew my culinary secrets”.
Fast forward to six months later. Giorgia came home to give me some home-made Italian biscuits. I thanked her, locked the door, and bit into the biscuit to sample it. As soon as the crunchy sweetness filled my mouth, I knew I simply had to have the recipe. I wasted no time in logging on to YouTube and watched endless videos on how to make those biscuits.
Of course, I could have just asked Giorgia but I didn’t feel comfortable doing that since I had not shared the recipe of my chickpea curry with her despite her subtle hints. So I slaved over those biscuits for about two weeks until I decided on a recipe that I was happy with.
Feeling pretty pleased with myself, I sent Giorgia a voice mail telling her that I would bring over some of my biscuits for the Italian verdict. Speaking into my phone, I was distracted by Joseph and Anna, my children, who were causing a ruckus. As I understood what was happening, I turned to Joseph and snapped,” Be quiet Joseph. I am on the phone! Learn to share with your sister. If you don’t share with others, don’t expect anyone to share with you”.
Before the words were out of my mouth, I heard a familiar voice in my heart – “Didn’t you just spend two weeks experimenting on a recipe for Italian biscuits because you were too proud to share the recipe of your curry with Giorgia?”
I stopped what I was doing and closed my eyes in a moment of deep conviction as my hypocrisy was made clear to me. Oh Lord, how can I discipline my children when I don’t behave in a manner that is worthy of Your disciple? Please forgive me, Lord. Help me. Help me to share the goodness that You have bestowed upon me.”
I’d like to say that the change was instantaneous but it wasn’t. The Lord didn’t change my attitude overnight but graciously led me to passages in the Scripture that dealt with my selfish heart. I discovered that “do to others as you would have them do to you” wasn’t an inspirational quote but the Word of God – thereby serving to purify my attitude and actions. The Lord exhorted me to not “withhold good from those who deserve it when it’s in your power to help them. If you can help your neighbor now, don’t say, “Come back tomorrow, and then I’ll help you”(Proverbs 3: 27,28).
As I read those words, I was reminded of so many occasions when I replied to someone’s request for my recipe with “Oh, it’s nothing, I’ll let you know” or “I’ll send it to you on WhatsApp” (but never did) or “Oh there’s no point because you can’t get authentic spices here like the ones I bring from India” (true, but spoken with the wrong motive).
I was appalled to find out how many other sins I had succumbed to in order to “protect” my recipes. Since that revelation, I’ve asked God to give me the grace to overcome my selfishness and to be a light to others so that “they may see my good deeds and praise my Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16). To be clear, I didn’t run to Giorgia’s house first thing in the morning with the recipe for the chickpea curry that she loved. Although, in hindsight, I probably should have. However, the Lord began a work in me that day. It took me six months to come to a place where I was happy to share my recipes with the people who asked for it.
Let me challenge you today to think of some good that you are withholding from someone. Perhaps it’s something as trivial as a recipe, perhaps it’s something else like your resources, time, money, or skill. What is your excuse? Are you worried that you might be valued less if you shared your knowledge with someone in need of your help? I certainly felt that way. If we are honest with ourselves, we would realize that when we are faced with someone who treats us in such a manner, we are quick to pass judgments and write them off as selfish and manipulative. However, when it is us doing the scheming and being devious, we are much more accommodating – even sympathetic. If we find comfort and security in our plenty when someone else is in need, can we be true followers of the One who asked us “not to withhold our shirt from someone who asks us for our coat” (Luke 6:29)?
The next time you are tempted to hold back something that is in your power to give, let a cry for help arise from your heart to the throne of grace. When this becomes a habit situation-after-situation, we will soon see what big strides we take as a result. Let us always work towards doing our part in enriching the lives of others in every way possible – for “with such practices God is pleased” (Hebrews 13:16).
36 comments
Beautiful … I know women have this big thing about sharing recipes but I totally agree that we behave in strange ways because of the internal conflicts we have .
I also love the way you confess your sins in a public forum praise God that you are able to boast of your weakness so that others may grow !
Always encouraged by your comments, uncle. 🙂
Dear Evangeline!
Of course when you write about us it’s about food!!
After reading I love you more! I thank God for our friendship!
you know..even if I had the recipe in my hands it wouldn’t be the same because you didn’t cook it! It’s not a question of ingredients, when we cook we put love for those people as the “most important ingredient” and this changes the whole recipe!
You’re right, the Lord invites us to help and share and…there is no better place than a table set for dinner!
See you soon!!
I couldn’t have said it better, dear Giorgia!
Beautiful😍! Familiar voice inside… Deep sharing akka! Loving it
Being honest for urself…i have seen many who won’t like to share especially when it comes to recipes….Good lines to remember and continue to share his love in evrythg…gud one eva….
🙂
Super Eva.. Am learning to listen God in my day to day activities by reading ur examples with scripture.
What a blessing! Praise God.
We all each have our own recipes of the heart that we don’t want to share. I love your tangible example of giving to others. For me, it’s time. I always feel like I’m so busy that I can get kind of selfish about my time, especially when it comes to giving enough to my spouse. Thank you for such an amazing read. ❤️
God bless you, Jessie. We’re all a work in progress. 🙂
Isn’t it funny how God speaks to us through different things? Glad you were able to make changes and stop holding things back. Thank you for sharing this!
Yes, it is. I am so glad He does! 🙂
Don’t you just love how God uses our parenting to bring conviction? It’d be funny if it weren’t so…convicting. It’s easier to see other’s faults than my own. So I’m thankful God gets my attention when I’m being selfish. Great post!
Blessings! 💗
Absolutely. I need all the help I can get and I’m thankful that God makes sure I do. 🙂
I love this, l know my mum used to say some recipes shouldn’t be shared. Why we do it l don’t understand but l like the insights you shared and Hebrews 13:16 hits that point right on the head! I definitely will be sharing my recipes if someone asks 😁
Some things have to be unlearned for sure. 🙂 So glad you found this useful. Blessings!
Hi Evangeline! Thank you so much for sharing this personal example of how God taught you generosity in your life. I also love the audio feature!
My pleasure, Adriana. 🙂
I really enjoyed this and have struggled with holding back at times in my life as well. But oh the benefits of giving that I missed out on. I find now it has become a joy to help others and release my need to hold on to things. Loved this!
The benefits of sharing far outweigh the benefits of selfishness, for sure! 🙂
This is the sweetest post! I have done that in the past where I held back recipes too lol. I love how God spoke through to your heart when you were disciplining your kids. He does that with me too. Love this post sweet sister … ❤
Bless you, Donna. Thank you for stopping by. 🙂
I’ve never had a problem sharing recipe’s, or anything, for that matter. I take joy in sharing. But, as I think about it, maybe I enjoy sharing so much that it has become a kind of an idol. It’s a way for me to get people to like me. Sounds crazy, but it’s true. Something for me to surrender to God. I love how you’ve used a practical yet personal story to bring an important message home to the hearts of your readers.
I understand completely. We are all a work in progress. God bless you!
This! Thank you for your honesty and transparency! We all struggle with something, but our willingness to give it over to the Lord is everything. I’m so glad that you were able to see the changes you needed to make. May we all be so humble. Blessings, Joni
I loved this post!!! I was laughing when God spoke to your heart because I love when He does that. It’s kinda like…gotcha! He’s so gentle in doing it. Listening to the audio was really good, your voice is very calming. Good job! By the way, I love Indian chickpea curry 🙂
Thank you for being so kind, Elizabeth. God really has good timing, no doubt! 😀
Sharing is caring – that is what I believe I was taught growing up. One of the things I enjoy doing is cooking. I am always on the lookout for good healthy recipes. At least, once a week, my housemates and I (live with a group of guys in a two story home) will cook for one another. We have no problem sharing our food. I’ve cooked up some pork loin roasts, beef roasts. Love using the crock pot and even share my cast iron skillets. Made up some Chicken version of Shepard’s pie.
When we share with others, we are extending our kindness, our compassion, our joy, and even share with them in our struggles and suffering. Thank you for this enlightening post.
Evangeline! This is a wonderful post! I love how God speaks to us and I really love that your shared. ….now chickpea curry sounds really good!!!!!
I need to give you the recipe. 😉
Such a beautifully convicting post! Thank you for sharing your wisdom. The question of what we’re withholding is very telling, and will definitely lead to prayer!
God has been speaking a lot of these reminders to me as well. Especially, “don’t hold back good when its within your ability to do so.” Especially in this awkward season when so many are in need, are we making ourselves available to love in this way? I think it would be so cool to see communities coming together and providing for each other. Community dinners. Grab and take meals for community members. There’s such a need! I’m not the greatest chef. I don’t think I could even manage a curry. But I make a mean salad!
You’re so right. A deep sense of community is established around food. Also, salads are the best thing to have during summer, no doubt! I think that’s a great idea. 🙂
I love how the Holy Spirit will speak to us right where we are in a way that captures our attention. What a wonderful Father.
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