“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” (1 Peter 4: 8-10)
A couple of days after we got married, my husband and I moved to Austria. I was a fairly new Christian then – focussed mainly on all the ways that the move would fit into my idea of a perfect life. I vividly recall the excitement that coursed through me when we entered our first home together and soaked in every detail around me. I thought to myself, I can’t believe I get to make this house a home. I can spruce up this place anyway I want and nobody would question my choices or suggest otherwise. The heady excitement stayed with me as I painted an accent wall in the living room, experimented with “petrol blue” paint in the bedroom, hung up curtains with little purple flowers in the kitchen, and filled the media unit with books. I took great pride in keeping our home spotlessly clean (which was easy because we had no kids then) and assumed that was what guests would appreciate the most.
This went on for a couple of months until one day it was suggested that we host homegroup at our place. Our homegroup consisted of a bunch of international people (with a couple of children) we went to church with every week and additionally met on Fridays to pray, share testimonies, and grow in fellowship while sharing a meal or some snacks. I remember looking forward to having everyone over and sharing the joy of our first home together. Despite being as excited as I was, I recall having this nagging doubt at the back of my head, how am I going to react if the people who came over made a mess? I pushed that thought to the back of mind as I made preparations for the home group – simultaneously asking God for the grace to be accommodating and genuinely hospitable to every person who set foot inside our home.
The meeting went wonderfully and I thought to myself, looks I didn’t need that grace I asked for after all. There isn’t a mess anywhere. We should offer to do this again next week. Just as I was getting comfortable, the bell rang. Confused as to who would show up so late, I opened the door to find Hilda standing there. We hadn’t seen her in a couple of months and I was pleasantly surprised that she had decided to join. However, much to my chagrin, Hilda came bearing gifts – a box of Turkish delight and big, flaky biscuits. I grimaced as the boxes were passed around the living room and a fine layer of powdered sugar and biscuit crumbs settled on the chairs and the carpet. As ashamed as I am now of the impact it had on me, I remember completely phasing out of whatever was being said after that. I could only think about when I could get everything clean again and was particularly mad at Hilda who chose to bring the messiest foods possible.
The moment the last guest left, I picked up my broom and started to sweep the living room. When I saw crumbs of food pressed into the carpet by someone who had mistakenly stepped on it, I was close to tears. As I began to work on getting the mashed food out of the rug, the Lord posed a few questions about my attitude. Which is more important? This rug or the fact that Hilda came to a homegroup after many months? Do a few crumbs take precedence over the fact that I brought her there for a reason? Do you think your attitude today reflected the love that I have for her?
That was five years ago.
The Lord began a work in me that day – one for which I am eternally grateful. When I look back, I thank God for the enormous strides that I have made in this area and for having experienced the thrill of feeling God’s power work its way through my self-centeredness. Even so, every now and that, I attempt to justify that I am right in expecting people to behave a certain way for me to be able to accept them. When that attitude threatens to take over, I often remind myself of the verse found in Romans 5:8 that says “God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners“. If I am called to reflect that same love of God to people so that “they may see my good deeds and praise my Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16), then it’s best I ask for the grace, to be accommodating of little inconveniences that come my way.
Hospitality is an act of love and obedience that God uses to advance His Kingdom. In a world that is invested in promoting the importance of self-care, God is looking for people who are willing to care for others by welcoming them into their homes and are “eager to practice hospitality” (Romans 12:13). The church needs people who practice hospitality faithfully – not with a motive to impress but instead, seeking to bless. This is by no means an easy task. When you look at all the extra dishes to clean, the sheets to change (for over-night guests) and the time spent in entertaining them and making them feel at home, it takes a special kind of grace to exercise the discipline of hospitality without grumbling. Although It is far easier to remain focussed on our self-centered lives and to remain in our comfort zones, we ought not to “forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” (Hebrews 13:16)
For a long while, after we had our children, I found it immensely difficult to receive people if they decided to turn up unannounced. The reason for that was that I never wanted to be caught off guard when my home wasn’t as neat as a new pin. God has been gracious in dealing with my control issues and has opened my eyes to the fact that I cannot be a good steward if I am always looking out for my convenience over the needs of others. He needs to be able to trust me enough to send someone to me at their time of need. It is important for those on the outside looking in to see genuine love and care poured out from those who claim to be disciples of Christ. In that way, by observing our everyday interactions, they will encounter that distinctive Christian love that points them to Christ.
Dear Lord, enable me to trust You to such an extent that I obey your commands even when they go against my intellect and preferences. I don’t want to do something because I have to and approach it with dread and irritation. I want to approach things that do not come naturally to me – things that you want me to do – with a heart of love. I want to truly love you and do everything as a service to you. I want to serve in a kingly way – being rich in kindness and lavishing love extravagantly simply because that is how you lavish your love on me. Thank you for being so patient with me and not giving up in disgust at my attitude. In Jesus’s name, I pray, Amen.
10 comments
Thank you once again for you article .. you were worried about your carpet, for men it could be a scratch on their car . How often we focus so much on the things of the world rather than Gods grand plans in our life .
I love your honesty ,the church would be such a happy place if every one could boast of their weakness like Paul’ and testify that his Grace is all I need … yes every day to live for Jesus 2 Cor 12:9 for truly his I should gladly boast in the areas I am weak so that Gods power may rest on me .
I can really identify with this post as a mother of six. Messes are what send me into a very grumbly place where I begin barking orders or complaining about the work I have to do because of these kids. I have often been convicted of this and I really want to move forward beyond the mess into a heart of service for my family.
Thank you for your honesty describing your struggle. I think many people find this an obstacle to opening their home to others. I pray you will encourage others to be more hospitable!
We all struggle with self-centeredness in one way or another. God truly is so patient with us, and for that I am thankful! Thank you for this reminder to let go of my own agenda to embrace my Saviour’s plans for me and for those He sends my way!
Thank you for your honesty. I struggle greatly with hospitality. I tend to be a very private person, so opening up my home to people is very hard. My husband and I had our pastor and his wife over for dinner and I was a total nut case the whole week! I pray the Lord helps me in this area. I love to cook for people, but my own fears and worries get in the way. Kind of like how the crumbs got in your way, the little crumbs are what I tend to focus on.
This is so beautiful. I have three friends here who all have the gift of hospitality and they so graciously gather us all in their homes. It is truly a beautiful gift from GOD. And how awesome that you get to live in Austria! It’s so beautiful there … ❤
I can so relate! For me it’s been broken toys, stained couches, and the hours spent cleaning before AND after everyone leaves that tempt me to forget the gift of hospitality. This is such a great reminder for what really matters and how God gives us the gift of hospitality. May I always remember it is a gift!
I also love hosting small groups at my house. This is what I loved most out of this post: “In a world that is invested in promoting the importance of self-care, God is looking for people who are willing to care for others by welcoming them into their homes and are “eager to practice hospitality”.”
Your openness is amazing. I try to be hospitable though I’m a very private person and worries about being the perfect host often prevent me from going all out.
As always, I enjoy listening to your podcast. My husband and I love to practice hospitality. Thanks for sharing.
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