I remember it like it was yesterday.
It was on the day of my ninth birthday. I was in school wearing casual clothes, a blue and white dress, as opposed to the usual uniform. I was made to stand up in Math class to answer a question. As was customary for me in any Math class, I could not come up with an answer – or the right one at least. My teacher then proceeded to ask me how I didn’t know the answer when the previous day’s homework was solely based on that problem.
Picking up on my blank expression, she enquired if I had even managed to complete my homework. In a culture that does not take academic excellence lightly, not taking one’s homework seriously was frowned upon. It was almost always disciplined by either a rap on the knuckles, asking the student to remain standing outside the class for the rest of the hour, or (in rare cases) by asking the student to stand on his/her chair as a form of punishment. The general idea was to shame the child into taking their responsibility more seriously.
I was well aware of this. Wanting to avert punishment in any form, I did the most brilliant thing that came into my nine-year-old mind: I pretended not to hear the teacher. Twice. Irritated at my behavior, she came to my desk and asked me to pull out my notebook. Seeing that I hadn’t done the work assigned, she gave me an earful on my irresponsibility and my poor mathematical abilities in general. In a fit of anger over my repetitive disregard over homework, she flung my notebook into the trash can and walked to the front of the class.
Not wanting to cry and further embarrass myself, my face distorted as I attempted to hold back tears that were threatening to fall. The girl who sat in front of me misread my expression and blurted out for the whole class to hear, “Ma’am, Evangeline is making a face at you”. Needless to say, I was mortified. Before I had the chance to justify myself, my teacher declared, “There will certainly come a day you regret this when you amount to nothing”.
I carried those words with me for a very long time. I told myself that was the reason I consistently failed every Math exam up to college. I chose English Literature as my major by way of taking refuge from numbers. In short, I let it dictate many decisions I took and attributed to it many emotions of failure. As much as I tried, I could not bring myself to forgive that teacher. Up until a few years back, I replayed that scene in my mind a thousand times over and grew more and more bitter every time.
I am certain that every one of us has had similar experiences that have caused us pain, shame, and even grief. Ironically, entertaining feelings of ill-will, bitterness, anger, or hatred is just a way to inflict punishment on ourselves. Nowhere in the Bible do we come across forgiveness as an option or a suggestion. Forgiveness is a command. And like every other command, it’s given not to make our lives difficult but to free us from unnecessary burdens. Forgiveness brings the peace of God and benefits us more than others.
In Matthew 18: 23-35, we read the parable of a King who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. One servant, in particular, is forgiven a great monetary debt by his master (worth about 20 years of a day laborer’s wages). This man, upon release of his debt, goes to another servant who owes him much less (around the usual daily wage of a day laborer) and mercilessly has him thrown into prison. Although we feel incredulous reading that story, how are we any different if we do not forgive the offense of others? If we believe God forgave us all of our sins, will we not forgive the little offenses that people cause us? Jesus ends that parable in a frightening manner: “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger, his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed” (Matthew 18: 32-34).
For the Christian, unforgiveness is a very costly option. In the words of Jesus, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6: 14-15). That is certainly not a risk worth taking. Often, we tend to hold on to our hurt and parade it around like a trophy to arouse sympathy and recognition from anyone who will listen to us. However, the longer we hold on to that wound, the longer it has time to fester and create more pain. Keeping track of offenses is fruitless and does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
Ephesians 4:32 exhorts us to “be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you“. Let us ask ourselves: What bitter feelings have found root in my heart? Am I as quick to forgive as God expects me to be? Indeed, the only place we see God running in the Bible is when He runs to the prodigal son, arms outstretched, ready to forgive him before a word is out of his mouth. When we forgive others, we follow the example of Christ. Being quick to forgive does not mean you’re ignoring sin. It doesn’t offer a license for repetition or validate offenses. However, it does mean that you believe that you are releasing the person from any further payment for the hurt they caused you. It also means seeing people through the lens of forgiveness and grace that God has first conferred upon us.
What absolute forgiveness we enjoy from the Lord! He is quick to pardon a repentant heart and does not withhold grace from a contrite spirit. He is “merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him” (Daniel 9:9). As we experience this undeserved favor from the Lord, let us make haste to practice forgiveness. In the words of Charles Spurgeon, “You are nothing better than deceitful hypocrites if you harbor in your minds a single unforgiving thought. There are some sins that may be in the heart, and yet you may be saved. But you cannot be saved unless you are forgiving. If we do not choose to forgive, we choose to be damned.” May God grant each one of the grace to exercise forgiveness as we pray the very words He has given us to pray: “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us”.
25 comments
Happy reading this. Gone through same lessons years ago.
So good to hear, Usha!
Happy reading this. Gone through same lesson in life years ago.
Forgiveness is a command, and when we obey; we are at peace within.
Thank you for sharing, more so, I loved listening to the voice reading. It was soothing and captivating.
I’m officially a fan of this blog
What a kind thing to say. Thank you for stopping by, Victory. God bless you.
Great post! You are so right, holding on to unforgiveness usually ends up hurting us more in the end. I love the quote you have about forgiveness freeing us from unnecessary burdens.
Absolutely! So glad this spoke to you in some way. 🙂
Wow! What an astonishing memory. Thank you for sharing this story as an example of forgiveness. There is total freedom in forgiveness! AMEN!!! God bless you for forgiving this teacher with biblical truth because that is where our freedom lies.
God bless you, Barbara! Thank you for stopping by.
As someone who became a teacher, I used painful experiences from my own childhood to shape the teacher I wanted to be. I didn’t have a particular memory that stood out in my mind, but many of my college students recounting experiences much like the one you described in this story. I didn’t even know the teachers, but I still found myself filling up with anger.
I know what you mean, Teresa. I am a teacher too and always remind myself of the kind of teacher I wanted to be. Children tend to thrive when words of encouragement and positivity are spoken over them.
❤️🙌
You are such a good storyteller! Your story broke my heart for you. How wonderful to be able to forgive even when the behavior is very unfair and cruel. Thanks for this beautiful post!
The way God enables us to do things we are incapable of doing on our own is truly astonishing. Thank you for stopping by, Mary!
Thank you for sharing about how there is so much freedom found when we forgive. Just as the Father has forgiven us for our sins so should we extend the same forgiveness to others.
Praise God. You’re very welcome, Haley.
Amen! Being forgiven is a gift from God. May we do so lovingly to others as well. Thanks for sharing!
Amen. That’s a worthy prayer.
I know very well the sting of those words “You will never amount to anything” as my dad spoke them over me for many years. Your teacher represented an authority figure in your life and that must have been so hurtful to your heart. Thank you for this incredibly sweet and vulnerable post. Much love …
God bless you, Donna. I am so glad this spoke to you in some way. God is truly able to create in us a heart of forgiveness.
I absolutely love this!!! Sometimes it’s hard to forgive, yet it is so freeing when we do!
Forgiveness is truly freedom for the injured. I liked how you pointed out that God’s command to forgive, like all His commands, are for our freedom not bondage. Great post!
Blessings! 💗
Thank you for this reminder that forgiveness is not optional for Christians but it’s a command we must obey.
I was in tears reading your story! You are so good at storytelling! You are right we need to forgive. It does us harm to hold on to unforgiveness. That is one of the reasons God calls us to forgive and we must obey!❤️
Oh, thank you, Karen! You are so right. It is freeing to forgive.
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