When I was about six-years-old, we moved into an apartment on the third floor of an old building. Much to our delight, three other families with kids lived on the same floor. We spent a great deal of time playing in the common area on the landing outside our main doors. Needless to say, we became good friends in no time at all. Our bond was strengthened by our proximity and most summer holidays were spent running between the three homes.
Of all those kids, Monica was the only other girl my age. We spent a lot of time doing what girls did – rummaging through her mother’s make-up, playing with our dolls, and pretending to cook.
On her seventh birthday, she invited us over to her home for a small party. As per usual, my mother handed me the gift I was to give a few minutes before the party began. I thought nothing of it. I knew the kind of gifts we usually gave my friends. It was usually a toy or a book – nothing to write home about. So you can imagine my surprise when Monica opened up my present toward the end of the party and pulled out the most beautiful dress I had ever seen.
When I close my eyes, I can still picture that dress in vivid detail. To my seven-year-old eyes, it looked like the most perfect shade of pink to ever exist. It had a fitted top with puffed sleeves and a skirt that flared out in the most perfect cinderella-esque style. It had so many frills, it could have put a Victorian ball gown to shame. To top it all off, it shimmered in the light and immediately captured the attention of every girl in the room.
Suddenly, everything around me moved in slow-motion. I was rooted to the spot as I took in Monica’s ecstatic expression. “Oh, thank you, thank you, Eva! Thank you!”, she squealed. I managed to smile weakly and lost all my appetite for cake. I felt miserable and wanted nothing more than to go home.
My parents were hard-working, middle-class folks who bought us everything we needed. When it came to clothes, they chose to dress us sensibly – in clothes that would last us a while. So when I saw the kind of dress my parent bought for Monica, it was very difficult for me to accept it graciously. When we got back home shortly after that, my mother noticed straight away that something was not right. She tried everything to get me to talk to no avail. Honestly, I could not express exactly what the matter with me was.
I soon came to realize that I no longer wanted to go to Monica’s house to play, and in a couple of days, I had stopped talking to her completely. My mother quickly put two and two together and sat me down for a chat. As she confronted me about this, big, hot tears dropped from my eyes. After patiently hearing me rant about how it was unfair, she shared with me why it wasn’t good for a child of God to be jealous and embittered by someone else’s possessions. I don’t remember much of how I reconciled with Monica after that. We continued to be friends – but I could only put the whole incident behind me when my parents got me the very same dress in yellow a couple of months later for my birthday.
Most of us don’t spend much time in searching our hearts to find the root cause behind certain “problem areas” in our spiritual life. In my personal experience, many of the obvious sins I struggled with were rooted in the not-so-obvious sin of jealousy. This is the problem with jealousy- it permeates every part of your being. What starts as a small seed of misplaced desire ends up as a large tree with invasive branches – threatening to stifle my growth in Christ.
Jealousy goes hand-in-hand with gossip. We cannot have one without the other. Some of us might not be the one initiating the gossip, but are we guilty of deriving pleasure when we hear someone speak ill of them? Do we feel a burst of happiness when we get an opportunity to share a few spiteful words about them to someone else? Do we tend to steer the conversation to something that presents them in a bad light?
“Julie’s the topper? Of course, she is! It’s no surprise given the way she butters up the teacher.”
“Oh, you lost so much weight! Are you okay though? You look pale and tired.”
“Remember Maya was touting her daughter’s achievements all summer? I heard she isn’t doing so well at school. Such a shame! She seems like such a bright girl too.”
“Yeah, her curry is great but don’t you think the flavor of cumin is a bit overpowering?”
Others among us harbor jealousy in our hearts but never speak of it to anyone. However, in the sight of God, it is all the same. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account (Hebrews 4:13).
Jealousy is a powerful, negative, and draining emotion. When you begin to entertain jealous thoughts, the person in question can do no right in your eyes. Proverbs 27:4 asks – “wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?“. Instead of looking at others in the light of God’s love for them, we become so consumed with loathing when we see someone else rise above us that we wish they would be brought down.
For the Christian, jealousy is an act of defiance against the Creator Himself. We do not believe that God was fair in allotting us our portion. Our days are peppered with thoughts of ingratitude – we feel like we deserve at least as much as they have, if not more. This is certainly not beneficial to the Christian. In the words of George Matheson, “Christian love is the only kind of love in which there is no rivalry, no jealousy. There is jealousy among the lovers of art; there is jealousy among the lovers of song; there is jealousy among the lovers of beauty. The glory of natural love is its monopoly, its power to say, ‘It is mine.’ But the glory of Christian love is its refusal of monopoly”.
Truth be told, I have struggled with jealousy in many areas of my life. I am certain there must be more areas in the recesses of my heart that the Holy Spirit is yet to shed His light upon. When I struggle with a certain situation in which I find my heart being gnawed at by this vile emotion, I have learned that the best and most effective solution is to cry out to God. It is the Holy Spirit who convicts you of the state of your heart – without Him shedding light on our condition, there is no hope for us to even perceive that a problem exists. Therefore, a good place to begin would be by thanking God for His constant concern for the well-being of our souls and to express gratitude for making us aware of the wretched condition of our hearts.
Spend time confessing to God what/who you are specifically jealous of. Although He knows, it develops in us an attitude of surrender and helps us to release those bitter feelings in the presence of the One who is all-knowing, compassionate, and forgiving. Moving forward, ask God for the grace to speak words of blessings over the very person you are jealous of. Pray for their success and advancement in the very area that arouses resentment in you against them. By doing so, you speak words of life as opposed to words of negativity and bitterness. In this way, you will soon come to experience the work of the Holy Spirit in that area of your life – bringing a flood of joy, peace, and cleansing.
Dear Father, thank you for all that you have given me and done for me. Help me to keep my eyes on you and to be focussed on running the race that you have allotted to me. Your Word says those who are envious will “not inherit the kingdom of God” (Galatians 5:21) so help me to be content in whatever You have allotted to me. Give me the grace to celebrate the good in people and to sincerely applaud their achievements. Please forgive me for coveting others and strengthen me against this temptation. Thank you for working in me to give me freedom over this sin. In Jesus’s name, Amen.
39 comments
Thank you so much for this wonderful post. I struggled with this little yet grave sin of Jealousy. I find it so hard to applaud people who do better than me; it was tiring, and exhausting. Thank God I realized this early, I went plain before the all-knowing God, and I began to appreciate people who do better than me. When the feeling comes again, I go back to God for renewed strength.
To fight jealously, we have to shine everything in the light of God’s word. It works, and it lasts.
Thank you for this wonderful post
May God help us all. Amen
“When the feeling comes again, I go back to God for renewed strength.”
Loved that, Kudabo! It’s amazing how God cleanses and restores everything we bring to Him in surrender. I wish you a blessed week.
I can so relate to this feeling of jealousy. I remember feeling it as a child when the other children came to school wearing name brand clothes that my parents couldn’t afford. As an adult, I feel jealousy when I see the other moms’ happy posts on social media that make my life seem so mundane. Thank you for the reminder to be on the lookout for this sin of jealousy!
I know what you mean, Erin. I am sure you already know but I’ll remind you just in case – everything we see in social media is just a glimpse of people’s lives. At times, it might not even be their reality. Even if it as beautiful as they portray it to be, let us ask God for the grace to be satisfied with what He has given us. A heart of gratitude makes life infinitely more enjoyable. God bless you. Thank you for stopping by.
Jealousy can, indeed, be a hidden sin! It can sneak into our lives without warning. I love your personal story about the subtly of jealous and it’s far-reaching impact. Thank you so much for sharing!
You’re very welcome, Cathy. 🙂
I love your honesty and the heart felt plea. We are all so guilty of this. I certainly felt convicted to pray, surrender and ask God to deal with some of my thoughts. Thanks for this great post!
Very interesting viewing jealousy as an act of defiance. I hadn’t ever thought of it that way before. Thanks for the insights!
Oh, that nagging feeling of jealousy can made a beautiful things tainted. So important to uproot those things.
Thank you for sharing this testimony. I, myself, have struggled with jealousy. It is not easy to overcome it, especially in this day in age when so many people are envious or jealous of others and comparing themselves to others.
Jealousy is definitely one of those hidden sins we all deal will.
This was such a great post. I think that if we keep our eyes set on Jesus, then we will have less opportunity to worry about what others have. Blessings, Joni
So accurate!
The hidden sin of jealousy, may God x-ray my hearts and show me, so I can turn a new leaf.
A beautiful prayer. 🙂
Thanks for sharing your story. I can definitely relate! Social media doesn’t help. I love the quote from
George Matheson, “But the glory of Christian love is its refusal of monopoly”
Excellent Eva…God bless you
God bless you too, akka! 🙂
It’s so good to shed light on this sin area that can steal our joy and undermine our relationships. Thank you for sharing!
Wonderful post! I especially loved this reminder – “When the feeling comes again, I go back to God for renewed strength.”
Wonderful post! Thank you for your honesty. Shared on Twitter and Pinterest.
🙂
I loved the story you shared and your honesty. It is so easy to struggle with jealousy and not even realize it. We need to be careful to root out any jealousy in our hearts and learn to be content.
Absolutely. Well said, Collene.
Hi, Eva! Thank you for sharing this. Jealousy is quite indeed very hard to overcome sometimes. But in God’s light, all is good and plenty. And what He gives to us is perfect, and what He does not give is protection. God bless!
Such a powerful post! So true that jealousy drains us but God gives us life. I’m encouraged to pay attention to my inmost thoughts and surrender them all to Christ. I definitely don’t want to put on any yoke of slavery again, and jealousy is a sneaky one!
Amen to that. Couldn’t have put it any better. 🙂
This is such a great post and convicts my heart! Jealousy is a terrible sin and the result of comparing ourselves with others that God also warns us against. Thank you for sharing this truth! Blessings!
God bless you too, Teresa!
Jealous is definitely one of those that prevent us from focusing on God. I recall several incidents where Heavenly Father has had to bring to my mind my own faults and blessings. I’ve seen this happen among my friends of faith as well. Typically, this is manifested when we see others being blessed and we continue to struggle and feel we are not being blessed in the same measure. Jealousy places a spiritual wedge between our relationship with God and our relationship and connection with others.
Jealousy can happen to all of us. As I read your post I thought about my Pastor’s message this morning on James 1:13-18 talking about temptation and God’s perfect gifts. We could be jealous of what others have or we can have what God has for us.
Thank you for this post on jealousy. I love the way you tell stories. I can just imagine that dress you gave as a gift! God has been speaking to me about surrendering everything to Him. I will have a heart check considering jealousy. I have pinned your post to pinterest❤️
<3
This post convicted me so much. Thank you for sharing your story and for pointing me back to Christ!
Jealously can be so difficult. I have certainly had times when I have struggled with it, (more than I would like to admit!) LOVE that quote about Christians and jealousy!
You pulled me into your story and then connected it to the lesson. Jealousy is such a divisive feeling. It can break up friendships, marriages, families, and businesses. It even broke up the unity in heaven.
What a great point! I didn’t think of that. You’re absolutely right!
Did d ending prayer along. Soo useful dear!
Bless you, Usha. 🙂
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