I’ve been a parent for a little over three years. In the months leading up to the second year, I worried (unnecessarily) over why it was taking Joseph a while to start talking. When he did, we celebrated every stage of his journey to communication – his first incoherent word, his first coherent word, his first sentence – you get the idea.
In more recent times, we are faced with a new challenge – Joseph’s new-found love for monologues. Somehow Joseph is now convinced that the best way to get his idea across is to burst into an impassioned soliloquy. He waits for no man while he makes his point. Wary of anyone who might question the logic behind his demands and queries, he hurries to make his point and boldly proceeds to advocate them – all in one breath. To get a word in edgewise amid that torrent of words is a valuable skill I’ve had to master over the past couple of months.
(Talking to his sister)
“Are you my friend, baby? Yes or no? Yes? Very good, baby.
(Asking for his favorite breakfast)
“Can I have chocolate muesli for breakfast, Amma? Yes? It’s good for Joseph? And it’s tasty? That’s great Amma. Where’s the spoon?”
(Wants to watch television)
“I can watch T.V., Amma? It’s only for some time, Amma. I’m not asking to watch for a long time. Only for a short time. And I am only watching Peppa Pig. Peppa Pig is good, Amma. She is fun! You can watch it with me.”
I’m not going to lie. I found it incredibly amusing at first. It warmed my heart that my toddler grew to care about certain things enough to make a case for them. But the longer it went on, the more I knew that he needed to be corrected. When it came to matters that weren’t good for him or when they violated the rules set for him, I had to put my foot down and let him know that it didn’t work that way. He tried to fight back but quickly learned that he should probably exercise his vocal prowess on other things.
These episodes with Joseph often remind me of how I used to approach prayer for the longest time. If there was one place where I took full advantage of the soliloquy, it was on my knees – in prayer. See, my mother taught me a prayer when I was around two-years-old. I held on to that 30-second prayer and repeated it word for word, every day until I reached my late teens. I sang “What a Friend We Have In Jesus” every week in church and still thought it made perfect sense to repeat the same prayer, unfeelingly, over and over again. I saw nothing wrong with that. Why fix something that isn’t broken was my reasoning. Looking back, I am truly saddened that I let my prayer life be so drab, monotonous, and fruitless for so long.
Is your prayer life a combination of absent-minded petitions and thoughtless prayers – hurried and unimaginative? Has it become a chore that you cannot wait to be over and done with? Or maybe, like little Joseph, it has become a monologue of you convincing God of the validity of your requests. Perhaps you think like how I used to – why change something when it seemingly works well enough?
These days my prayers are a lot different. I approach God knowing fully well that everything I take to Him and every area of my life I invite Him into will be infinitely more excellent for having known Him. I approach Him with the knowledge that He loved me enough to give His Son for me and that He loves me enough to pursue me relentlessly in the process of becoming more like him. I approach Him with gratitude and humility – overwhelmed that He chooses to keep our appointments in the quiet corner of my living room.
Usually, when we are faced with a problem or a situation that adversely affects us, our first instinct is to push it into the darkest corners of our hearts and to either worry or bemoan our fate. If we are more of an extrovert, we might choose to unburden our hearts to someone near us or pick up the phone to talk to someone dear. While this might offer some comfort, we will quickly find out that it isn’t long-lasting and often leaves the other person feeling drained.
Alternatively, when we run to the Lord and confess our worries and fears, He is faithful to prove Himself as the “the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
God is interested in everything that is a part of your life. The beauty of talking to God about everyday things is the intimacy that you develop through that practice. When I first began my walk with Christ, I was quite unsure of what to talk to God about. I knew all the “important” things that we were supposed to pray but I didn’t know how to talk to Him as a friend. I heard testimonies from others who did just that and I longed for that kind of relationship with God.
I started small. I started talking to Him about the spices I used while cooking, my conversations with my parents each day, how I felt about the fact that there were no Indian restaurants where we lived, and about the design choices I made while setting up home.
What began there soon grew into things that I knew were more important to Him. The more I got to know Him, the more I loved Him. And the more I loved Him, the more I wanted to be exactly how He wanted me to be. In due time, the focus of my prayers changed. I shared my struggle with anger and asked Him to help me change my attitude towards it – I wanted it to be unacceptable in my life. I asked Him to help me spend more time getting to know Him through His Word. I asked for the grace to stop wasting my time watching movies and TV series. I asked for the grace to overcome laziness. When someone got under my skin, I learned to first take it to Him. In the midst of my lavish pity parties, the Lord gently reminded me of how much I needed to change.
When I look back, so many of those kinds of prayers have been answered. Others are being answered and yet others will be answered. What I know for sure is that no conversation with any other person – no matter what degree of relationship – could have produced such spectacular and obvious results.
The Lord hears. The Lord answers.
Why oh why would we settle for a one-sided conversation when the person on the other end is the Lord of all creation and is most eager to speak with us? How do my monotonous, bland, and meaningless prayers contribute anything to developing my relationship with Christ?
On days when I am convicted of my choosing to adopt a detached attitude to prayer, I imagine the ridiculous scenario of greeting my husband in the morning each day with the same set of sentences – nothing more, nothing less – and then proceed to ignore him for the rest of the day. I can imagine the anguish it will produce in his heart and the kind of fruitless marriage it will lead to. This is true of our relationship with God also. “If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing” (John 15:5).
I came across a beautiful prayer that was shared in our homegroup a couple of months ago. Written by William Barclay, and originally intended to be a call to the Lord’s Supper, it is a beautiful piece of literature that I found most useful with regard to the way I approached prayer. I hope it serves as a blessing to you too.
“Come… not because you must but because you may,
not because you are strong, but because you are weak.
Come, not because any goodness of your own gives you a right to come,
but because you need mercy and help.
Come, because you love the Lord a little and would like to love him more.
Come, because he loved you and gave himself for you.”
18 comments
Eva,very nicely you have brought out the Truth of insipid prayers! Enjoyed reading about your toddler and the way you linked his talks to prayers of adults. Well done Eva!
I love this blog. God does not want an endless string of words that try to convince Him to give us want we want. God wants a relationship where we share our thoughts and feelings. Then He wants us to spend time listening. Thanks for sharing.
Wow, this is such an inspired post. The Lord hears and answers prayers.
I love your thoughts on prayer. I shared your post on Pinterest.
Hi, Ava. I love this post! Thank you so much for sharing. Indeed, God always listens. He always answers our prayers even when it doesn’t end up the way we want. He will always be faithful! May we also continue to listen to Him as well and act upon His grace on what is best for us. God bless you!
This is so good! For the past few months, I’ve been taking a good hard look at my own prayer life and trading the monologues for a dialogue. These days, my prayers are a lot slower, featuring lengthy pauses in between words or sentences. Thanks for this reminder to create space for Him to speak!
How often my prayers have been one-sided conversations! I love the quote from William Barclay. What a beautiful invitation God has given us to join him in intimate conversation.
I love your prayer at the end, so true come because we may not because we must. And l find praying Scripture when l feel stuck always helps me. P.s. your little boy sounds so sweet having that conversation 😁
Such beautiful writing and such beautiful, sincere, and profound thoughts. I love this post. Thank you for bringing up William Barclay’s prayer. I had heard it before, but now you have recalled it for me so I will copy and save it. I love the comparison of talking with your husband and talking with God. If we gave our husbands a few bland sentences in the morning and then ignored him the rest of the day, he would be hurt. And so, transfer that to God. Brilliant!
Wow! I loved this post on the special gift God has given us of time spent with Him in prayer! Beautiful! Loved this, “Why oh why would we settle for a one-sided conversation when the person on the other end is the Lord of all creation and is most eager to speak with us?” Wonderful challenge to a renewed prayer life! Blessings! 💗
Such a blessing to read, Eva.
Favorite line: “I started small. I started talking to Him about the spices I used while cooking, my conversations with my parents each day, how I felt about the fact that there were no Indian restaurants where we lived, and about the design choices I made while setting up home.” I still do this kind of talking with God. People laugh at me or ridicule me, but it’s great to have a guardian, a compassionate Friend in God. The deeper prayers are when we become a friend to God.
I absolutely LOVE this Evangeline! Your son is adorable and it made me smile when I read his words. I get your point though and made me wonder if I present my ‘case’ to the Lord instead of offering Him open handed prayers where HE gets a chance to speak and to choose His best for me! Thank you for this very thought provoking post! I loved it … ❤
Love the story about your son! Prayer is so important and such a blessing! Thanks for this reminder to check my prayer life!
Your comment about one-sided prayers really resonated with me. How often we pray without listening. We assume that if we pray enough about the same topic and loudly over any other “noise” that God will be convinced to answer according to our request. This was a really great reminder to stop and listen as well.
I agree, God care about every part of our lives, even the mundane moments.
I love the example of your son! Such a great comparison. And thanks for reminding me that “The Lord hears. The Lord answers.” Amen!!
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